FWD: Hi There !!!!

Hi ***,

Seeing you at ***'s Piano recital will suffice.
Just for clarity's sake:

I'm certain that it really pains you that you aren't in contact with your daughters that for most of your life you claimed were "your pride and joy".

I can sense you are really hurting, and have regrets and remorse and are exhausting the path of what you have used as a coping mechanism for so long to deal with your upsets - patterns of old. What pattern? That of being 'the victim', of pushing guilt upon those you claim to love - from what you've been shown from your own family upbringing. As I am growing into myself, striving for authenticity and strengthening many other facets of my being - I'm witnessing this negative pattern come into fruition once more and how it is upon you once again. This time it's holding on a bit longer than normal and in more erratic terms as I know I will not buckle down to it's preying ways as I have in the past for it is not healthy and does not allow either of us to grow into ourselves for the better good.

You have an opportunity at hand to own up to your actions, to take responsibility and grow from it. To advance a relationship in a way that is not destructive to either parties involved. Instead - what I am seeing is extremist behaviour as denial creeps in that you cannot get your way with victimization and guilt strategies - what you know so well and what seems to be taking you further and further away from what you've identified yourself as revering for so long - your 'family'.

I'm not certain how you think court cases will fix things. It makes absolutely no sense in any capacity whatsoever. It is a blatant and completely inappropriate report of immaturity - and has me questioning your judgement and mental justification as to how you actually think that by slamming one irrationally upon your family makes you think the person will
respect you enough to "give in" to your demand
appreciate your "tactics"
want to have anything to do with you for sometime when you place something so negatively extremist into the picture.

You can not force someone to love you.
You can not force someone to like you.
You can not force someone to forget an action that is fueled by slimy and selfish roots.

You can only love yourself
You can only fuel actions and words with pure love and authenticity
You can only be true to every word, in every action to your best capacity coming from a place of humble, patient, and selfless centredness

Only then can you realize that you are a human - not better or lower than the next... a spiritual being that is always learning.
There...
There in that space can we reflect and grow
There in that space we can learn from our mistakes and forgive ourselves or someone else.

But if we are constantly living in regret, in fear, in constant worry, in resentment, in bitterness, in the negative frame of thought - it takes up that space in the present moment to expand.
to develop
to grow

and we are left in the same vicious cycle that we are creating for ourselves. We decide without any body else's words or actions to be a victim.

To live in the past is to miss out on what is actually in front of you right now - opportunities, relationships and more. Being in that state is a 'gift' - that is why they call it the 'present'.

To live in the future is to act coming from a place of ego and desire - as opposed to being in the stillness of your centre - being perfectly content with what you have in front of you right now.

When we are in the strength and stillness of our centre - all that happens around us is but an illusion and is ultimately not important.

We must be okay with being with ourself.
We must let go of what we want someone to talk to us like and demand it to be so.
we must let go of what we want someone to do - so that we use it as an excuse for our happiness or discontentment. And if we don't get it - so what? Is it our identity? Does it truly make or break us if we don't have something go exactly our way? What is the source of the desire? Remove the object of that desire completely, as if it does not exist - can you still live and be happy with yourself?

*** -
I've let go.
I've let go of the possibility that I may never have a functional relationship with you ever again as we see the world so differently it seems. You exhaust me sometimes when you want so much of me for your own happiness selfishly at times. I am my own being as are you respectively. We can not count on one anothers different definitions of a working relationship to be our identity or to make for our happiness.

I've let go of the idea that someday you may actually own up to your actions and apologize for the mistrust you actually had the balls to defend in court. You can live with that - don't let me know how it feels. I can witness how you are dealing with it by your actions - as they speak louder than words.

I've let go of ever getting what I want you so badly to do.
and it bloody well hurts sometimes

I too want to be able to have a *** like I'm sure you want your daughters back.
At this point - i'm not sure how many years it will be at this rate before i'm ready to let you back in to my life.

You really really really hurt me***.
and what hurts more is seeing you retract and perform actions that don't show any light of you accepting what you did. You are oblivious despite what is apparent in front of you!

I'm not sure if you can absorb even 10% of what I'm sharing with you before you'll put your defensive victim guard back up - the one you've identified yourself with for the past 15 years.

All I can say is I'm not willing to make an effort with someone to re-establish a relationship if they are not willing to be in the present moment, take responsibility for their actions and own up to their word and morality for a greater good. Essentially - I'm not ready to simply forget that anything happened without talking about it - which maybe you delusionally think I will all of a sudden?

If you are willing to apologize and work through things - then maybe I'd consider meeting with you while you are here.

I love you and I am forever grateful for all that you teach me.
I do hope you can digest this and not take it too much to heart.

Be Well
****

FWD: part II

hello my lovely, your the sweetest kindest friend in the world. i love you so much. your at work, yeah, friday nights, i'm here, wouldn't be nice if we were in thailand, at the beach together instead of here and now. someday i'm gonna take you back, or somewhere take you on a holiday all this sounds like a grade schooler wrote it, it's that kinda of love, ***, the purest of all forms, the proudestof all knowing that i could attract i friend like you. with love all ***

BACKGROUND: When we returned to **** I didnt speak to him for a couple of months although I know it hurt him a great deal. I always knew our love was still strong and we would continue being best friends and later look back on this period and laugh at our/my stubborness but I wanted him to know how abandoned I felt in Thailand and for him to feel it for a bit. Two months after our return, he became extremely tired on a Monday, on Friday went to the doctor and the following Monday was told he had leukemia and left town to get treatment at one of the best cancer hospitals in the country, near his family in the Northwest. This email was sent form his hospital bed. He died three months later. The biggest regret of my life is not letting go of my ego and opening up my heart and telling him how much I loved him. But now I tell him every day. And he tells me right back.

FWD: part I

it was unhealthy to come running home. you were, right. but it feels to be home. i feel being home. i think about you a lot. thinking about what your doing, how you're getting along. i know that being alone doesn't really phase you. or your comfortable with it, but it feels like i turned my back on you, and went running the other direction, which i guess is what i did. the whole thing was so messy. messed up with all the confusion, we talked so much about. all of it felt unhealthy, but know that i'm home it feels with your help, and talking and crying with *** that my relationship will be balanced more with communication, and i'm committed to not get lost in this. i will, but i'm gonna try to continue finding myself as well, doing what i need to do. being so far away, not being able to funciton, was to hard to do those things. having the feelings i did have, i wanting, needing, loving so bad, were right. your friendship in my eyes blossomed that much more. you being there for me, and loving me the way you did was so something. i just hope that walking the streets you don't hold grudges, or more that when you do come home that all is repairble. blah.

really i care, but more importantly i just felt like telling you that i love you for letting me run with understanding. i found the place i need, to be, may suffer repercusions later, but you being there helping me discover, fight it, push me, forcing me to look at all i did, was life. life that helpped me to being more.

love you, travel with safety.
****

BACKGROUND: This email was sent to me by the best friend I've ever had and one of the most amazing, loving, compassionate people I ever met. We had gone to Thailand together for a one month vacation but he left after one week because he was despondent over being away from his girlfriend, his first love. I was furious that he left.

FWD: guilty toast and such

You said you wanted me to write you an email. Well, actually you said, "You could write me an email," which I will interpret to mean that you would like me to write you an email. I just can't promise that it will be cohesive or interesting. I am tired, too.

Here's the question of the month: Why do I walk around feeling guilty ALL THE TIME?! I just made myself a piece of sprouted grain toast with Earth Balance "buttery spread." I have this sense that somebody is watching me, following my movements approving or disapporoving - ready to hop out and scold me for putting on too much buttery spread or eating toast at 11pm when I am hungry. Then I realized, hey, I am a grown up. I paid for this bread. I paid for this butter. It's my time. I can eat however the fuck much toast I want to. In fact, I might even have a second piece! So, what's with the internal police officer?

Do you ever imagine that someone is watching you do the most mundane of things and approving or disapproving? flipping on a light switch? washing your hands? checking to see if the door is locked? getting dressed to go to the gym? Am I alone in doing this? (It's okay if I am, I just want to know if this is my own funny little behavior or if it's universal. By the way this is not a rhetorical question. Please write me back or talk to me about it.)

Random flashback to 4th grade PE: Mr. Jenkins said that we didn't own anything. Nothing was ours. Everything belonged to our parents. The toys we played with, the clothes on our back, everything. Nothing actually belonged to us. Not to mention that if we watched "The Simpsons" we might end up in jail later in life... Wierdo.

I am not well. I look in the mirror and I see dark circles under eyes, sad lines, blotchy patches of stress. I look and I see my mother. In every expression. In every pore. In every hair follicle. I want to exorcise her from my body, from my soul, my mind. I know that women patch things up with their moms sooner or later, but I just think: "What do I have to gain form it?" I don't like her. I am willing to accept that it is my duty to love her, but it's impossible to like someone if you just don't godamn like that someone. What am I supposed to do?! I am dreading Saturday. The last thing I want is for her to be closer to me in proximity, when I already feel her shadow invading my every day.

I do actually want to have serious conversation with her, but I can't do it with her husband here and I can't do it over the phone and it would be rude to spoil what she thinks of as a nice vacation - so what, when? You know that she's the only person that I have ever wanted to hurt? Like, physically and emotionally hurt. I had a dream about screaming at her the other night. (this is not a first) Screaming myself silly, saying everything in exactly the perfect way, in the perfect words, the perfect tenor to my voice. I am a very forgiving person - sometimes to my own detriment - but I can't force myself to forgive her. I guess just...more time...and timing...

I don't think you really like to hear about this stuff. I know I need to address it sooner or later and I am not afraid of doing that. It's just...timing. I am still too eager to hurt her to have a successful conversation - and what's worse is that I know exactly how to hurt her. I don't actually in good conscience want to do that - but I just might given the chance - so I just need more time. I need to feel ready. I reached that point of readiness with my dad and it has been delightful ever since. I am just not there yet with her, please forgive me.

Night is rarely my friend on this island. You wanted an email. That's all I got for now. I am tired. I want my kitty. I want my you. I just want to be at peace for a night. I hope I'll sleep after all the toast and wine.

Write me back in the morning please?

FWD: In a moment of weakness...

Well, obviously you didn't want it enough. Remember that moment we had in your parents' guest room? You looked at me with such intensity and said, "You have no idea...You have no idea..." What did you mean by that? That I had no idea how much you were going to end up hurting me? What was it that you were feeling for me at that moment, and how could everything have just collapsed in such a short time? Obviously there are a lot of unresolved issues here. I'm trying to make this break as clean and as bloodless as possible, but who am I kidding? I have been processing everything these past few weeks, and now all the rawness is coming to the surface. . . .

Deep inside, beneath the anger, beneath the resentment, there is love. Love and gratitude. Love and gratitude and sadness. You have fanned the fires of transformation in my life, as the yogis would say. And that is a real gift. Getting laid off was one thing; you have broken me completely, and now I'm truly wide open to the world.

I don't think I'll be in *** for much longer. I'm seriously considering moving out to the *** once my lease runs up in April. Gotta get crackin' on that driver's license! You know how I feel: My heart yearns for space, for community, for connection. For a brief moment--when you told me about wanting to explore *** with me and we searched for yoga studios in *** after looking at your school's Web site--I thought that that was something I could've had with you down the road. Guess that wasn't meant to be. But maybe we will help each other to get to where we have to go, as you pointed out. Maybe we already have. . . .
I can't lie to myself. Especially not about you. I am mourning the loss of what I thought we had, ***. Every day. I miss you more than you can imagine, and it breaks my heart to hear you say that you miss me too, but it also frustrates me to no end.

I don't know who I am to you, what I represent to you. Maybe one day it'll all make sense. Right now I feel powerless, mostly because what I feel for you is still so powerful.

FWD: hello hello

Hey there,

I see that you are coming to *** tonight. This is stating the obvious, but this will be our first interaction in a long time. I wish I could say that I'm excited to see you but, to be honest, I'm predicting it will mostly be uncomfortable instead. And again, maybe I'm stating the obvious, but this is why: I have a hard time understanding why we're not really friends anymore.

What is prompting this message is that I have a hard time not speaking when something is on my mind. This is especially true these last few weeks - I have been feeling more present, aware, and introspective than usual, so my emotions don’t have to travel far to get to the surface. It keeps things exciting.

So...here we are. I’ll be seeing you soon and, seeing how we haven’t really spoken since ***, I expect it will be awkward. For me, at least. Is it safe to say you feel this too? I mean, we used to find time to periodically catch up over tea and now we barely make eye contact in the *** hallway. And maybe this OK with you. For me, it sucks.

I don’t mean for this message to be an attempt to return things to the way they were before we dated. To be honest, I think that would be overshooting it. I’d be happy with seeing you randomly and just having it be comfortable. Hell, if we accidentally started having an active friendship, even better. But to be painfully honest, I've learned to not expect too much. Any time I've communicated over the last several months, your response has been polite but never encouraging of more conversation. So I stopped communicating and tried to let it go. Apparently, I’m not very good at that. What is lingering for me is this question of why - why aren’t we really friends anymore? Maybe asking this question won’t actually change anything on the outside. Maybe answering this question isn’t as important as me just saying it out loud. Maybe, like a cathartic journal entry, I just need to say, “Hey, this is what is going on for me.”

Perhaps this is naive of me, but I am of the line of thinking that the discomfort we feel after breaking up with someone, especially if friendship precludes the romance, is very small compared to the caring connection that underlies all of it. This has certainly been my experience of relationship the last few years: we feel discomfort - sadness, anger, frustration, etc. - and then, eventually, it goes away. What is left is still a larger sense of caring and, in my experience, the friendship is often closer and more authentic than when it started. I - optimistically - thought that would happen with you and me. I even thought it would be relatively easy. But here we are.

So this is what is going on for me. Seeing how this morphed into a cathartic journal entry rather than a message to you, I would be grateful - and certainly curious - to get a response but I am also grateful to just be heard. Knowing how emotionally vocal I’ve been feeling, I think it would be difficult to see you tonight and not have an opportunity to share some of this. So whatever happens will happen. Discomfort will be discomfort and life will continue to be emotional, unpredictable, and highly amusing.

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. Truly grateful. And know that, even among a tangled mix of discomfort, I can often still tap into the underlying sense of caring.

***

FWD: "You are alive, and that is the only place you need to be to start." - Carrie Rainey

Dear ***,

I’m having difficulty starting this. I had a feeling that there would be a new blog posted, so having just read the latest, I am letting your words sink in. I like that you are so self-aware, so thoughtful, so honest. It is inspiring, and in my own strive to be authentic, both to myself and to others, I felt compelled to write.

I understand your frustration. Last night I said that I felt we were in the same place emotionally, though it is quite clear now that we have very different perspectives. When we made the decision to take some time before seeing each other again, the reality of this to me meant: take the time we need to work through our current stuff, go about our lives, maintain contact with each other, and see where we are at when we do meet again. In my mind, casually dating does not interfere with this. It would be completely different if you were here and we were actually in a relationship. To decide to limit myself and not date anyone for this extended period of time seems frustrating when we aren’t in that place yet. I guess I see something with amazing potential, and have hopes, but also realize that it isn’t something to pursue right now.

Maybe it would help to explain my current situation, of where I am at. I spent my entire 20s in a series of long, committed, serious relationships. I can look back now and see that all of my choices were based on what didn’t work in the previous relationship. Although I made progressively better choices for myself, in all 3 relationships I did the same thing: jumped in very quickly and became immediately consumed. I lived with all 3 guys for long periods of time, and only years into the relationships did I realize that it wasn’t what I wanted anymore. So I left, only to promptly find someone else to lose myself in. This is not to say that I have any regrets. I can look back on all of this as amazing, valuable, and worthwhile experiences. The downside of it is that I have spent the last 10 years relying on others to love me. So I am in this place now of still figuring out how to love myself.

Loving others has always been easy for me. I am open hearted, accepting, and see the best in other people. My critical and judgmental side is mostly turned inwards. I realized this a few years ago while I was volunteering at *. Within a few months, I felt I outgrew my life, and wanted something different. All of that led to my desire to move, which was not an easy process. I left the job that I had been comfortable in for over 5 years, the group of friends that had taken so long to feel connected to, and the relationship that I had been in for nearly 4 years. That part was the most difficult, because it was the first healthy, loving relationship I had decided to leave. It was also the first time I had intended to be single in my whole adult life. At times, being single has felt so liberating, and at others, so empty and alone. I wholeheartedly agree that one should view a relationship as a gift and not a necessity. I, too, am in the process of getting this. So the last 8 months has been an amazing experience of ups and downs. When I moved, I made a conscious choice to start doing some things differently. I am striving to accept all of the feelings that come up, and am slowly I am getting to be more at ease with it. It has been surprising and refreshing to be able to date people without becoming completely consumed. This is the first time in my life I have really done that. And perhaps this is why the past week has been exhilarating and at the same time so stressful….because once I realized the intensity of my feelings for you, I started to become consumed once again. I thought about you the entire drive back here. I thought about how easy our interactions were, about your quirky sense of humor and your realness, about how you are unassuming and sexy all at once, about how we talked for hours about deep and meaningful things and also managed to laugh so much and so easily. I thought about the moment when you took my hand, when we first kissed. I thought about how connected I felt to you, started visualizing what a life could look like together. I let myself get lost in this.

One thing that I do when I am feeling muddled is to ask myself: what do I want? At times, I find that I have to ask the question over and over. But it helps me find some clarity. So I think, what I want is to do my best to let go of any expectations. I want to hold on to the belief that there was a purpose in our meeting. I want to be patient, to have faith that everything will fall into place as it is meant to be.

In the midst of this work that I am doing, and you, in the midst of your own courageous work, I would love it if we could keep communicating. Maybe we could talk once a week, if that feels right to you.

Creating a new path is brave and messy work….I long to be graceful, but the reality is, I just keep stumbling. Try to forgive the stumbling. And please know that I am incredibly grateful that you are suddenly in my life.

With love,
***

p.s. one more quote:
“The waves echo behind me. Patience…faith…openness...is what the sea has to teach. Simplicity…solitude…intermittency…but there are other beaches to explore. There are more shells to find. This is only the beginning.” –Anne Morrow Lindbergh

p.p.s. Just so you know, I haven’t written a long, rambling, soul bearing letter to anyone in quite some time either, which means….you are special too.

FWD: untitled

Okay, I'd love to talk to you beforehand. I would like to discuss what happened in an open and forgiving way, and I hope that we can both do some shadow work here. I also had a lot of trust issues with you. What I did (reading your journal) while involved with you was an extension of my own innate trust issues as well as trust issues I had at an increasing rate with you... and my own intuitions. Additionally the emails were read because they were left open on my computer. I'm sorry that I happened to see them. There was no content to them, just a memo of a dating site. I feel that we probably shouldn't have been involved with one another intimately at all the Summer you came back, at least not at the rate we were going without a solid trust based friendship. I not only went against my own intuition and will, but I was trying to determine if it was also against your own intuition and will in a dysfunctional fear based way....because I was unwilling to make my own choices with a fair share of rationality and intuition. So yeah, that's my side of the situation. And I take responsibility for that.

In terms of any current trust issues you have resulting from diary reading or me seeing your email open, that's not something I would do at this point. There would be no reason for that as there's nothing I would want to know... and even if there was I am not afraid to ask directly for the information. I am sorry that I was weak minded and didn't wait for you to come home. It was never something that I was plotting, but a very spontaneous action that resulted based on me seeing the owl card on your floor...and drawing a card again after shuffling and having it been the same card. I agree that this is not a valid response to drawing such a card and I apologize.

I don't even think I was as upset about what I read as I was about the whole dynamic of what we had. I just really realized I wanted to be free of everything... and free of my own mind's association with you as a partner as well. And I think everything...worked out relatively well for us both in the end...even though it took some thoughtless utter darkening of the light to get there. I'm not justifying my actions, but just placing them in a context and also reminding you that my actions did allow you to let go of me so you could enjoy your presence and your new ventures and meet another wonderful person. (-: Think how more tricky it could have been.

What I was most upset about was that I always felt that in your mind I was only a potential...or an option for you when to me you were a primary relationship that I wanted to develop deeper and to commit to. I think that it was a dysfunctional dynamic...and one that we both created. One of us is not free from responsibility there. The continuation of the dynamic was what brought our downfall as our dysfunctional shadows came to manipulate one another in dysfunction ways.

With this sort of shadow work out of the way... I feel I'm a place where this can't happen anymore. I am in a place where this has actually benefited me a lot because I've come to realize that I have been in both roles many times, particularly in the role of someone who's involved with someone as an option or someone to be involved with because I have a sexual or emotional desire yet not a desire to partner with them. I do feel that perhaps there are situations where it's okay to have a non partnering relationship but that those are few and far between and must be between two highly mutual individuals with a strong sense of trust and what we were together hadn't come to that point. We tried to jump the gun and missed the mark entirely and became a codependent relationship. I've come to a place where I will not do this to anyone, and I thank you and Andrew for this little piece of self actualization. With that said... and kept in mind, it makes it easier for me to really understand you and your dynamic within the relationship that we had.

Hope you understand. I just want to get this off my chest and than all will be within the laws of potentiality. (-: Yes this is all in the past now, however I believe time to all be interconnected and multidimensional in relation to our consciousness. I want to be present with you, but I do think we need to look at the dynamics for what we were and say... "hey, that won't happen again. I won't be in either of those roles." Not so much for you and I, but all relationships in general.at least that's what I take of it.
Love ***

FWD: closure...you can read or not read, I just need to put this out there.

Dear ****,

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I usually just push the thoughts away or try and distract myself from them. Lately, I've been trying to consider why they are still coming up. I think it was because we never really had closure. We went back and forth after we broke up, and I think that really messed with my head.
Originally I broke up with you for three main reasons: You and my family don't get along. I don't think you are financially responsible. You couldn't see yourself in Virginia.
So, that was really hard because those reasons may logistically be "deal breakers" but my heart was completely dedicated to you.
We continued hanging out and went back and forth with our intentions. Things got a little weird after that. We were both talking to other people, and I was honest with you the whole time. Yeah, I did some shitty stuff, but I told you. I felt like you were extremely shady. I always had a feeling you were talking to other girls. You always erased all of your messages (text, e-mail, etc.) like you were hiding something. I confronted you a couple times, just asking you to be truthful with me, and you always denied talking/hooking up with anyone else. The last time we spoke you said we should get back together (completely pulling my heart strings because that's all I wanted all along) and then you admitted to talking to another girl in Canada. AND you were going to fly out to see her. Ouch. I was really hurt. And, I feel really guilty because what was also going through my head was money stuff. I was outraged that you would pay for a plane ticket to see HER when my dad was helping you pay for school and god knows what else. I felt like you were directly stealing/cheating me.
Then come to find out, you dropped out of school. wtf.
I just feel like all of our time together was a waste. I have amazing memories of us but they are sadly tarnished. I went camping with *** and ******* shortly after that last time we hung out (where I ran away crying and you never stopped me). We were sitting around the fire and ******* asked about you. I told her the story and she was like "well, fuck him, he cheated on you anyways!". Apparently you told her that last Christmas, and she never told me until then. weird. And you never told me. Ugh. I don't know. I was super pissed at first and wanted to confront you about it, then I talked to my mom and she convinced me not to and to "just let it go". I tried, but I think it is hurting me more than doing any good.
I just wanted to put this stuff out there to get a little closure. You meant the world to me. We were supposed to grow old together and sit on the same side of the booth holding hands forever. I know I broke your heart and I'm so sorry. I don't want this to come out mean or angry, this was just my perception of the last year or so. I loved you so much and would never want to hurt you.
You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. We don't need to be friends and you have no obligations to me. This was really hurting me and I needed to get it out so that I may learn from this experience and be able to truly have positive and healthy relationships in the future.
I wish that for you as well.

With love,
*****

FWD: appreciations, part 2

My courageous friend,

I like that emails help shorten the distance between us.

I like that I can read your email to me or to the whole massage group
and know with great certainty that living with an open heart is not
just something we talk about. I like feeling inspired by you.

I do not like wearing wool socks knowing that just a few days ago we
were jumping in the ocean.

I like your empty moments photo documentary. Although I want to
remind you, given the tendency of your mala beads to stain clothing,
maybe not the best idea to put them in your mouth.

I miss hearing your whole body laugh.

I like how you are sensitive to pain in the world and equally able to
source so much beauty out of it.

I like reading you poems. I might have a great idea. More on this later.

I like writing appreciations with you. It makes writing feel more alive.

The only thing I don't like is knowing how limited my words will
eventually become in translating what I appreciate, especially about
you. ***, if we were in the same place, I would eventually take
all my words describing your beauty and safety and I would surrender
them. And I would kiss you. If we were in the same place, I would
accept Oriah's Invitation to risk looking like a fool, for love, for
the adventure of being alive, and I would kiss you to tell you all the
things that words can't. But, of course, we are not in the same
place. And without knowing exactly when I'll see you again, this
email will have to serve as a poor substitute for looking like a fool
in person.

I like knowing that, if we were in the same place, and you didn't kiss
me back, I would still think the world of you.

: )

***, I hope this email finds you at peace along your journey. And
know that you are being held even from a few thousand miles away.

Until tomorrow,

***

the intention

This is a community art project, an archive of anonymous emails that exemplify moments of courageous, risky, raw, emotional expression.

Whenever we take a risk, and act from the heart, we inevitably inspire others to do the same. Sometimes these heartfelt actions are in the form of an email - to a partner, friend, coworker, enemy, anyone. This blog is a forum for people to share and read these type of emails - to inspire and be inspired.

How to contribute:

1. Find an email you've written that is bursting with life
2. Make it anonymous - replace any names or places with asterisks (*)
3. Leave the rest completely unedited
4. Forward it and I'll post it!

the name

The soul within the individual souls
loves the one who runs and falls down
more than the one who sits and watches.

- Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks