FWD: part I

it was unhealthy to come running home. you were, right. but it feels to be home. i feel being home. i think about you a lot. thinking about what your doing, how you're getting along. i know that being alone doesn't really phase you. or your comfortable with it, but it feels like i turned my back on you, and went running the other direction, which i guess is what i did. the whole thing was so messy. messed up with all the confusion, we talked so much about. all of it felt unhealthy, but know that i'm home it feels with your help, and talking and crying with *** that my relationship will be balanced more with communication, and i'm committed to not get lost in this. i will, but i'm gonna try to continue finding myself as well, doing what i need to do. being so far away, not being able to funciton, was to hard to do those things. having the feelings i did have, i wanting, needing, loving so bad, were right. your friendship in my eyes blossomed that much more. you being there for me, and loving me the way you did was so something. i just hope that walking the streets you don't hold grudges, or more that when you do come home that all is repairble. blah.

really i care, but more importantly i just felt like telling you that i love you for letting me run with understanding. i found the place i need, to be, may suffer repercusions later, but you being there helping me discover, fight it, push me, forcing me to look at all i did, was life. life that helpped me to being more.

love you, travel with safety.
****

BACKGROUND: This email was sent to me by the best friend I've ever had and one of the most amazing, loving, compassionate people I ever met. We had gone to Thailand together for a one month vacation but he left after one week because he was despondent over being away from his girlfriend, his first love. I was furious that he left.