FWD: Hi There !!!!

Hi ***,

Seeing you at ***'s Piano recital will suffice.
Just for clarity's sake:

I'm certain that it really pains you that you aren't in contact with your daughters that for most of your life you claimed were "your pride and joy".

I can sense you are really hurting, and have regrets and remorse and are exhausting the path of what you have used as a coping mechanism for so long to deal with your upsets - patterns of old. What pattern? That of being 'the victim', of pushing guilt upon those you claim to love - from what you've been shown from your own family upbringing. As I am growing into myself, striving for authenticity and strengthening many other facets of my being - I'm witnessing this negative pattern come into fruition once more and how it is upon you once again. This time it's holding on a bit longer than normal and in more erratic terms as I know I will not buckle down to it's preying ways as I have in the past for it is not healthy and does not allow either of us to grow into ourselves for the better good.

You have an opportunity at hand to own up to your actions, to take responsibility and grow from it. To advance a relationship in a way that is not destructive to either parties involved. Instead - what I am seeing is extremist behaviour as denial creeps in that you cannot get your way with victimization and guilt strategies - what you know so well and what seems to be taking you further and further away from what you've identified yourself as revering for so long - your 'family'.

I'm not certain how you think court cases will fix things. It makes absolutely no sense in any capacity whatsoever. It is a blatant and completely inappropriate report of immaturity - and has me questioning your judgement and mental justification as to how you actually think that by slamming one irrationally upon your family makes you think the person will
respect you enough to "give in" to your demand
appreciate your "tactics"
want to have anything to do with you for sometime when you place something so negatively extremist into the picture.

You can not force someone to love you.
You can not force someone to like you.
You can not force someone to forget an action that is fueled by slimy and selfish roots.

You can only love yourself
You can only fuel actions and words with pure love and authenticity
You can only be true to every word, in every action to your best capacity coming from a place of humble, patient, and selfless centredness

Only then can you realize that you are a human - not better or lower than the next... a spiritual being that is always learning.
There...
There in that space can we reflect and grow
There in that space we can learn from our mistakes and forgive ourselves or someone else.

But if we are constantly living in regret, in fear, in constant worry, in resentment, in bitterness, in the negative frame of thought - it takes up that space in the present moment to expand.
to develop
to grow

and we are left in the same vicious cycle that we are creating for ourselves. We decide without any body else's words or actions to be a victim.

To live in the past is to miss out on what is actually in front of you right now - opportunities, relationships and more. Being in that state is a 'gift' - that is why they call it the 'present'.

To live in the future is to act coming from a place of ego and desire - as opposed to being in the stillness of your centre - being perfectly content with what you have in front of you right now.

When we are in the strength and stillness of our centre - all that happens around us is but an illusion and is ultimately not important.

We must be okay with being with ourself.
We must let go of what we want someone to talk to us like and demand it to be so.
we must let go of what we want someone to do - so that we use it as an excuse for our happiness or discontentment. And if we don't get it - so what? Is it our identity? Does it truly make or break us if we don't have something go exactly our way? What is the source of the desire? Remove the object of that desire completely, as if it does not exist - can you still live and be happy with yourself?

*** -
I've let go.
I've let go of the possibility that I may never have a functional relationship with you ever again as we see the world so differently it seems. You exhaust me sometimes when you want so much of me for your own happiness selfishly at times. I am my own being as are you respectively. We can not count on one anothers different definitions of a working relationship to be our identity or to make for our happiness.

I've let go of the idea that someday you may actually own up to your actions and apologize for the mistrust you actually had the balls to defend in court. You can live with that - don't let me know how it feels. I can witness how you are dealing with it by your actions - as they speak louder than words.

I've let go of ever getting what I want you so badly to do.
and it bloody well hurts sometimes

I too want to be able to have a *** like I'm sure you want your daughters back.
At this point - i'm not sure how many years it will be at this rate before i'm ready to let you back in to my life.

You really really really hurt me***.
and what hurts more is seeing you retract and perform actions that don't show any light of you accepting what you did. You are oblivious despite what is apparent in front of you!

I'm not sure if you can absorb even 10% of what I'm sharing with you before you'll put your defensive victim guard back up - the one you've identified yourself with for the past 15 years.

All I can say is I'm not willing to make an effort with someone to re-establish a relationship if they are not willing to be in the present moment, take responsibility for their actions and own up to their word and morality for a greater good. Essentially - I'm not ready to simply forget that anything happened without talking about it - which maybe you delusionally think I will all of a sudden?

If you are willing to apologize and work through things - then maybe I'd consider meeting with you while you are here.

I love you and I am forever grateful for all that you teach me.
I do hope you can digest this and not take it too much to heart.

Be Well
****